March 6, 2018 8:45 am
Many times is hard or even painful the process of understand our families, their stories and experiences.. But the truth is that in order to understand and continue to build our personal history, it is important to also give a sense to our family life. Today I will write from my personal experience in a meeting with family constellations, followed by an opinion as a psychologist. Because, one can not only speak from the theory but from the experience itself.
A few weeks ago I was invited to participate in a group of family constellations, it was something new for me, so I decided to go. From the beginning, I found a group of strangers with the willingness to make known a little of each other, or be known by others. One of the first things at the beginning of the day was to become more aware of our body, starting with a deep breath aimed at connecting (have you tried to do this? If it is a yes, finger up, if it is a no, try it when you can !). Then, voluntarily some commented briefly why they were there or what they wanted to work in this space, some did it, others did not. And from there we started the trip.
What happens in the family constellations? As a technique, it facilitates that one by one, bring a personal topic that wants to discuss / arrange / order in this space and other people accompany from the assumption of the different roles that the person needs or the facilitator indicates, can be roles like those of grandparents , brothers, dad, mom, and himself. For what? To have a different perspective of your stories and important people in your life, suddenly to be able to sort subjects that were not mentally achieved or to have different views of the same subject. Taking into account family histories, tells us stories in common, intertwined, and even cycles that are sometimes repeated. Sometimes we do not see it with the naked eye and having this look gives you a broader view of the path and its roots.
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As an experience, if I chose to keep a word, it would be perspectives. Sometimes in difficult topics to understand, perspective is one of the things we feel we lose and sometimes we need to take a new perspective, that is functional and healthy in our day to day. As a psychologist, what I will always emphasize is that we look for and find what works for us. Family constellations are interventions that have gained strength in recent years by this group approach and clarifying some issues, and people who require a different perspective of a problem that they go through can help them a lot. However, remember that there are issues that may suddenly be deeper or require an individual intervention in a space of psychotherapy (here there are many different approaches, different for each person). I leave this idea, think of a headache, if it is soft sometimes with a little sleep is enough, sometimes you need to take a pill indicated by a doctor, or sometimes requires an evaluation and treatment. The same happens with our problems, not all have the same alternative, because not all are the same and, in each one something different works, it’s fine.
Looking at our personal and family history is something that at one time or another we must do, how is the big question. If you have any questions, do not doubt to consult it.
And remember, just look inside. Until a next post!