Why is Hard to Forgive?
August 22, 2017 7:12 am
To speak of forgiveness is a delicate subject, and sometimes we prefer not to touch it. Why? Because it involves “forgiving” someone or some situation in which we have felt hurt. It has happened to us many times, when we have felt cheated or even betrayed by someone, in the face of a fight with our best friend or friend, our family, our couple … or something we just could not forgive.
Ph. Mejor con salud
What to do about this? It happens sometimes that even when have passed days, weeks, months or years, when we remember what happened, we remember it with pain, little or a lot but with a bitterness, with some resentment, right? That happens when forgiveness really did not happen. This in itself is not bad, you have the decision to forgive or not, of course with its positive or negative consequences. The problem comes when you do not forgive, because who lives with resentment is you, and only you continue to live in pain.
It is important that you know, that forgiving is NOT forgetting. It would not make sense. Imagine that resentment is the memory and with an unpleasant emotion for you (it can be sadness, anger, frustration), both together, the memory and your emotion. Forgiveness does not remove the memory, but what does is to remove that unpleasant emotion in front of that memory, allowing you to accept what happened and with it, to be able to go forward.
Forgiveness means that I am reconciled to that person? Not necessarily, there are damages that probably will not allow a relationship to rebuild and it will be better to let things go. At other times, there are relationships that can be reconciled. Always, it’s up to you.
The most important thing is allow you to enter into this process, because isn’t as simple as ear an “apology” and end of the history, it is a PROCESS that is very different from person to person. And in this process, the main thing is to be aware of YOUR emotions, and YOUR thoughts. And on some occasions, it is also important that you allow you to forgive yourself, those decisions with which you disagree today and you do not finish accepting. Remember that the change always starts in you, and this, will allow you to know better and accept you more.